Inertia

Inertia should be the first law of psychology. Why is it so hard for people to change behaviors they know are self-destructive? Inertia.

Our minds resist change like a physical object resists change. It takes a lot of force to get something moving, but with physical objects, the force comes from outside the object. With people, outside forces can have an impact, but the bulk of the energy must come from inside.

That is hard for people to do.

I'm watching some people very close to me wrestling with this. Change is causing stress and under stress, people want to fall back onto those habits/behaviors that are most familiar to them. It's painful to watch and it makes it worse knowing that I can't do much to help.

I wish people could focus on the new behaviors as achieving a goal they really want, and get the energy to push through the stress, but that doesn't seem to work in the long run. They have setbacks and get down on themselves. Hopelessness or self-hatred take over. It's hard to get the energy for making positive changes when in the grip of that.

I know all I can really do is be there for them, and offer encouragement. I just have to hope that that is enough. It doesn't feel that way right now, but I can't let that stop me.